Thursday, 17 December 2009

Moan moan moan moan moan

I worked with a woman once and you never dared to ask 'How are you?' as a great catalogue of disaster doom and misery would ensue.

I fear I have become that woman.
Well for the moment at least so in an attempt to spare the casual caller or my friends and relations the misery, I am going to pour forth here.
'Not again!' the cry goes up into the blogisphere.
Yes again.
Many trivial inconveniences have recently conspired to irritate and annoy.

We have a drip under the sink possibly issuing from corrosion of plumbing due my over liberal use of 'Sink unblocker'. The previous annoyance was a blocked drain. So all the stuff out of the cupboard under the sink is..well...out of the cupboard.

The stove pipe at the back of the woodburner has parted company with the stove and we dare not light it for fear of 'fumes'. The removal of a particular screw and the buying of one like it would possibly sort it but said screw won't un screw after 24 years in position.

The washing machine, at which we have thrown much money for repairs, is making such a terrific row when it spins, audible three streets away,I daren't stand in the same room. And for all its row I have rejected half the stuff I was ironing as it isn't getting things clean. So we broached the subject of possibly could we afford..should we buy a new one...when...
...ta daaaaa!!!!
The telly broke last night.
There was noise.
There was a pinkness.
There were white lines.
And now it won't come on.I am reliably informed that its not worth repairing.

Now, I don't know about you but I think I would rather watch a telly than a washing machine at Christmas...yes I know I know ..most Christmas TV is rubbish but what about the 'other side'?
We spent boxing day one year with 'Jean de Florette ' and the day after with 'Manon des Sources'
I wept buckets.
Interlude:I made this for a custom order.

So..none of these things is important or life threatening (except maybe the washer if you stand near it) but frustrating.
When you thought you had a bit of spare cash and suddenly its spoken for, its annoying.

But, this morning a big fat envelope was sitting on my doormat and when I opened it, inside was a lovely gift from Mary Anne from Magpie's Mumblings, because she won my giveaway ages ago.
It was just what I needed. Thank you Mary Anne. It made me smile (but it also made me feel guilty that I hadn't done anything in the way of gifts for my bloggy friends.)

I am way behind for Christmas due to going away to the funeral but mainly hospital visiting.
Now speaking of hospital visiting this happened.
I am taking my elderly neighbour to visit her husband in hospital twice a week (we have a rota for the other days) and last week I took her to the 'drop in' hearing aid clinic to make life a bit easier for everyone. She has been having trouble with her hearing aid and can't really put it in by herself.
So they showed her how to do it but still she can't, so when I can, I do it for her. I nipped round on wednesday to do it but she had accidentally twisted it and I couldn't do it.
Today she had it in her pocket.
Her husband is on the second floor but we accidentally got out of the lift on the first floor which is the childrens ward.
As we waited for the next lift I saw a youngish woman waiting. She said her baby was in hospital and I asked her if she was worried. She nodded and said 'I'm deaf' (so I would look at her as I spoke) and I noticed she was wearing two hearing aids so I asked her if she could show my neighbour how to put the hearing aid in.
She sorted it out in no time and we were very thankful.
Isn't that strange? It was an accident that we got out on that floor but there she was chance and able to help and pleased to do so. Thank you kind young woman and I hope and pray your baby is doing well.

Well..if you've read all that and haven't nodded off well done.
I won't do anymore posts until I have something jolly to say.

Now for the Pollyanna version:
I'm so GLAD there was a drip under the sink becasue I found my favourite duster and washed it.

I'm GLAD we can't light the stove because we haven't any wood in bite sized pieces that will fit in it.

I'm GLAD the washer makes a noise because it breaks the silence left by the TV

I'm GLAD The TV has broken because I could do all my ironing upstairs and know I wasn't missing anything.

Is that better?
I'm so GLAD.


Tami @ Lemon Tree Tales said...

Ah, you're having one of those days. Well I can offer a bit of advice for the screw that won't turn. I'd get some tri-flow and put on it. It's a teflon lubricant that bicyclists usually use on their gears. A sewing machine mechanic recommended it for sewing machines. It won't turn into varnish as does regular oil plus it will clean the old oil/varnish. The good thing is that after you've used it for the screw you'll have it for your sewing machine. :-)

Put it on and let it sit for 15 minutes or so and try turning the screw. If it won't turn put a dab more on and let it sit again. Hopefully that'll do the trick.

For the rest of it, I think that you need to treat yourself to 30 minutes of you time. Whatever makes you happy. Hope you have a better weekend. Cheers!

Lynn Cohen said...

You are a funny writer...taking the mundane and making it good reading. I just hate it when multiply appliances go at once. Living in a 20 yr old house allows for that eventuality. I once had to buy a washing machine, refigerator, dishwasher, stove and microwave all at the same time. The bank called to see if someone had ripped off my VISA credit card. No, I said it was ME spending all that money at one time. They weren't used to my doing that, and niether was I.

Your commissioned piece is beautiful.

ArtPropelled said...

lol.... sorry I'm laughing but you shouldn't make it sound so amusing. Ok my serious face is on now. I suppose its all about priorities. My new dishwasher and TV and tumble dryer and lounge curtains have to be put on hold again because the cash (and then some) had to be used to secure our house against intruders. It is so frustrating!!! Everytime there is enough cash in the kitty for the things we've been saving for we end up having to use it on security. On one hand its throwing money into making our home look ugly and on the other hand we are keeping ourselves safe. UGGRR!

Karin Corbin said...

Less is the new more, you are now very stylish.

Dolores said...

Well, rant/complain all you want. I too have wetness under my sink. I have not yet figured out from whence it has come but I will investigate tomorrow.
What a darling Mary Anne is. We belong to the same Yahoo group and she lives about an hour and a half away - same city as my friend. I have not yet met her in person but perhaps one day.
I have hearing aids but my battery is dead and I really don't need them all the time. Yes, they are tricky to put in if you haven't done it for a while.
Do you have Boxing Day sales? We do and that's when people buy the big ticket items like TVs.
I am so glad you are GLAD now.

jennyflowerblue said...

I see your catalogue of disasters and raise you a £550 garage bill and a stinking cold- .......O.K you win this hand! Congratulations on finding your favourite duster- though I am a bit worried you have one ;0)

Daisie said...

You moan away Jackie, love! It has brought a smile to my face (is that very insensitive?), I can look at my black eyes from lack of sleep, count my many grey hairs from the last few weeks of stress and try and figure out a way to tuck my excess belly into my jeans in a flattering manner incase I get caught on the christmas video and be very grateful that I have a fully operational washing machine and not just one but three working televisions. My life is not so bad!!
Hoping everything comes right in the wash (boom boom)!

menopausalmusing said...

Well I am GLAD you posted and did it with such humour! Our washing machine only operates with a paperclip jammed under on "switch"........... It's an absolute bummer when money you have "freed" up gets used up by the mundane everyday objects breaking down. Chin up!

Chris Gray said...

Oh Dear!....

...hope it all feels better soon...

Wishing you a (glitch-free) Hapy Christmas!

x Chris

WendyCarole said...

Sorry to hear that so much haas gone wrong lately. Sympathy over the washing machine I am waiting for an engineer today. But I know its on its last legs (machine not engineer). It must have been fate getting off on the wrong floor. Hope the young woman's baby is OK

At least you can write with humour. I love your commissoned piece. Its been great seeing what you have made over the last year. And look forward to seeng future pieces. Hop eyou have a great Christmas and a lovely 2010 xx

Gina said...

Like the others I'm smiling at your moaning! And if it makes you feel bettter (which it probably won't) my washing machine has done exactly the same this week. I've never heard a noise like it. I console myself with the thought that if I can't do washing there won't be ironing!

Annie said...

Oh bless you. You are one of the few folk who can make a disaster interesting and amusing. I must admit I was smiling at the end of reading it as I'm sure many others were so at least something very positive has come out of your troubles. Please feel free to pop in here to watch our telly and I would even do a few loads of washing for you if that would help. Only problem is you would spend lots on travel expenses :-)
A x

Miriam Weaver said...

Why does everything go wrong at the same time? I need a new tumble dryer, mine makes a terrible racket, the vat goes up at the start of the new year! I know what I'll be spending any money I get for Christmas or my my Birthday on! I had great plans for it too.
I love your blog, you always make me smile, have a lovely Christmas.

silverpebble said...

It's the old life buses again. In this case a whole gyratory. Nothing for a ages and then sixteen at once. I blame Stagecoach. Still, there's always chocolate, and mince pies, and felt.

You have a favourite duster? Really?

Greedy Nan said...

Perhaps it would be a good idea for us all to have Pollyanna Syndrome once in a while - didn't she also write a book called "The Perspective"?

Sue said...

Oh Jackie you crack me up. Isn't life just a pile of you-know-what sometimes? I think it is a given that appliances die in threes (or more, and certainly at Christmas - we once had to call an oven engineer out on Christmas Eve at vast expense, or else let a 14lb turkey go bad - and a couple of years ago we were all sitting cosily digesting our roast dinner when there was an almighty PISH from the boiler and it promptly blew up, leaving us shivering for five days.

It's good that you're moaning because it means we can all feel a bit freer to have a whinge ourselves - much more healthy than all those posts about calmly baking cakes and homemade Christmas cards when really it's merry chaos (oh was that me?)

Baileys is cheap at the moment ;-)

Sue said...

As a trained copyeditor it has really really upset me that I forgot to end my parenthesis in that last comment. Sorry to be so sad.

Mary Welsh Hubbard said...

You nut! LOL. I feel your pain with the appliance woes. My refrigerator has been doing this giant BANG every day for ... oh, a good month or more. I'm so worried it's going to just stop working suddenly. It's not worth repairing so I'm kind of holding my breath and hoping it lasts until January so I can get a new one on a big clearance sale. hhhh, it will probably go up on Christmas day just before all of my company arrives.

Threadspider said...

Og goodness-that is a catalogue of woes but I hope after all the lovely comments it has produced you feel better. Now-that duster. Can we see a picture : )

Clare Wassermann said...

oh goodness what a disaster but the end of your blog shows that you are such a much nicer person to know than the woman with just a catalogue of disaster! Anyway have a good Christmas with whatever gets mended!!

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you deserved a good moan! It does help a bit doesn't it? Hope all your troubles get sorted out soon and you can enjoy a great Christmas.

Christine said...

Another Pollyanna thought - it could have happened on Christmas Day and at least (whisper) your cooker is still working so far? Why do these things always seem to converge round Christmas times, when you least need the aggravation? (I sympathise - our roof once blew off in the early hours of Boxing Day). But a "favourite" duster - why is it special and should we all have one?

JP said...

poor jackie!! - our washing machine was poorly so Jeff got a man to fix it and then there was an awful smell of burning and we still needed a new washing machine!!! - but i am still grateful because we have no one we love and care for in afghanistan and christmas is coming and i have a great new notebook!!!!!

Anne B said...

Good grief! What challenging times we live in. I do sympathise - it's horrible when "stuff" gangs up on you. I mislaid my new specs last week and they turned up all shiny and fresh in the tumble drier! What is happening to me? Anyway - merry Xmas Jackie!!! Chill.

Heather said...

Your Polyanna version made me laugh and I thought 'You sarky Madam!'. However, the true real life version is so frustrating and I can sympathise totally with you. Love the piece of work you posted and as for your continuing kindness to your elderly neighbour, well, my Gran would have said 'You'll get your reward in Heaven'! Do hope the washer, woodburner, TV and sink get sorted out. It's awful when you get things going wrong in multiples, and don't worry about having a moan 'on blog' - that's what we are here for!

lilylovekin said...

I liked the moaning version better!

Pat said...

I think it was Confucius that said "It never rains but it snows!" or maybe it was some other fella. Sorry for you troubles but a great piece.

Rosie said...

Dear Jackie
Console yourself if you can with the thought that you gave one grumpy, menopausal, ole bat (me) a good laugh this morning!! So thank you for that. Anyway, bet a good moan made you feel SO much better?

Ain't it always the way though? The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, but all these gremlins in the machinery sounds like the work of the Devil to me!! Shall I come round and exorcise him for you (do you have biscuits??).

Alas, failing this I see no remedy except to offer up thanks for the forthcoming sales and bite the bullet!

Magpie's Mumblings said...

Well, if this is moaning - how come I laughed? Oops, maybe I shouldn't admit that out loud! Seriously, I DO feel sorry and hope things sort out for you sooner rather than later. I'm glad my wee giftie came at a good time, but then again, I didn't mean to make you feel guilty. I'm sending you a cyber hug anyway, so there!

Soggibottom said...

Seasons greetings from me............
DO NOT EMAIL .....I know you have it. x x x

moan, moan, moan............ x x x

Anonymous said...

Please rant and whine any and every day because I will look for the lovely treat coming near the end...
the 'Pollyanna Presents'!!
You are a treat Jackie.
Merry Christmas to you and yours
Hugs,Missy from the bayou

Jan said...

You need a laugh so here is one. I was reminded of this joke after reading about your elderly neighbor and her hearing aid. This is a joke but I like to tell it as if it happened to my grandma. I visited grandma and she was complaining that she couldn't get her hearing aid to work. "let me look at it" I said. She handed it to me and I exclaimed "Grandma, this isn't a hearing aid it is a suppository!" "Oh," Grandma said, "I wonder what happened to my hearing aid?"

I'm glad you are able to look on the bright side of things. I too have been having multiple things go wrong around home. Our water pipes froze recently and we had no running water in the house for 22 days. I have been carrying lots of buckets of water for flushing toilets, washing up. I tell myself that weight bearing exercise is good for my bones. I certainly appreciate running water which is once again running in the appropriate places.

Gorgeous commissioned piece. Wish I had commissioned it.

Lyn said...

Oh dear, they say things come in threes, lets hope you've had your three1

Mermaid's Purse said...

Didn't realise how much I had missed reading your blog - you are just so funny (as in "amusing" not "funny" funny) x

st of my pictures can be enlarged by clicking on them.

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