.........you lost four pounds each in two weeks and are going away for a few days.
So you're going to be sensible .
You arrive in the city and have to eat in a restaurant so you order the fish.
It has tartare sauce all over it so you won't eat that ..but somehow its gone and the plate is empty.
But you're not having a pudding so when the waitress comes you open your mouth to say 'nothing thank you' but 'whitechocolateandstrawberrycheesecakeplease..' comes out instead.
So you just have to eat it.
So...you won't have much for breakfast..just a bit of fruit and some muesli, but all they have in that line is a sachet of Alpen .
You pour it in the bowl and realize it bears very little resemblance to your usual variety but you've put milk on it now so you have to eat it.
You won't have anything else but he brings toast you are alone by now so you have to eat it. Then he stops for a chat and puts the basket with the pastries down on the table so you have to have one.
So you won't have much lunch.
Just a bit of tuna and a salad but it comes with beautiful brown bread so you have to have that..with butter and your friend buys a cake for herself and your husband so you have to have a bit of that ...
So in the evening when you get to the coast you arrive in 'CountryLivingLand' and look...
So guess what?
You eat it.
You just have to don't you?
Later you go for a meal in the pub.
You remember from the last visit how enormous the haddock and chips was last time you came here.
So you order the childrens portion.
Feeling very virtuous you enjoy every mouthful and you're not going to have a pudding but then you spot 'pear tartetatin' winking at you from the menu so you have to have at least half of that.
So..next morning you sit at the Awardwinningbreakfast table and order a very small portion of cereal but their small and your small are two different smalls.
You placed your order for smoked salmon and scrambled egg the previous night so you're committed, but you couldn't have know it was four slices of salmon and at least three eggs each could you?
And the toast...the bread for the toast....heavenly brown bread.
The best food in all the world.
So you do your best to eat all that and on the whole..you succeed.
So..you make up your mind you absolutely-will-not-have-any-lunch because you want to be ready for the meal you booked for the evening .
Later that day your husband..not you.....no...not you.....wants a coffee and a cake in a cafe.
You definitely don't want a coffee so you have a glass of water, and you don't want cake but you spot a very small quiche and after all its been hours since the scrambled egg and its a long long time till supper so that will just put you on.
You call back into countrylivingland while your husband waits in the car and just look whats on the windowsill!
Glowing from beneath a glass dome.
Two pieces of home-made carrot cake.
So you scoff one quick because that doesn't count, and rush out again.
So now you need a walk.
A long long walk .
And so it goes on.
Just before you go out you order your breakfast for the next day ..a small (underlined) portion of kedgeree,
and set off for the next evening meal, which turns out to be the best meal you've had in a long long time.
No pudding though.
There's the other piece of carrot cake in the room isn't there? And a spare piece of flapjack?
Two cakes. Two people.
So when you get back home the next day you're a bit worried about the scales.
Because the breakfast kedgeree was delicious, and on the way home you visited Holt and remembered reading about Byfords on someones blog so you just had to have lunch there .....
So.........will it be the same four pounds next time I lose it?