Friday, 11 July 2008

Space invaders

I didn't manage to get a good sharp picture of this before I sold it, so this will have to do. Its dyed silk velvet on a background of handmade silk paper, I lay the velvet on, cover it with sheer fabric, machine around it and cut the top of the chiffon away, then draw patterns with the machine.

I did the same with this.

These are not the 'Space Invaders' of the title but I suppose its an easy mistake to make. Right, thats the sewing over with, now for 2 horror stories, well, one horror and the other not too bad if you like mice.

The First Horror story.
The other night at half past midnight I was in the kitchen playing 'blogging' when I heard a teeny weeny little noise coming from somewhere. It was a regular noise which I can't spell, the nearest I can get is 'tchchchc tchchcch tchchchc'
I called in my Husband but, as you probably remember from the end of this post his hearing is not the best and he said I was imagining it.
But no, there it was, 'tchchch tchchc thchch' and it seemed to be coming from behind the cooker.
I got a torch.
I got a stepladder.
I climbed up and leaned over to peer behind the cooker.
BEHOLD!
A SLUG!
A yellow slug eating the yellow expanding foam we had put in the gaps to stop the slugs getting in. The builder who damproofed our kitchen left the holes on the inside wall and there are ornate Victorian airbricks on the outside wall.
Work it out.
(How much do you think it would cost to rip all the units out and replaster? I need more ETSY sales)
The 'tcchchc' sound coincided with it slimy little head moving from side to side.......I am distraught.
(But I must have bloomin good ears)
Please don't ask what happened next.

Interlude-A Summers day in Brinscall

The second not-quite-so-horror-and-a-little-bit-funny story

Another night at half past midnight when I was playing 'blogging' , our bad boy cat, Jools, came hurtling through the flap with four pink legs and a tail hanging from his mouth. I could see a definite wriggle so decided on a rescue mission. (Sometimes its just better not to)

I grabbed badboy by the scruff of the neck at which point he sank to the floor and dropped the dear little mouse which ran under him and was trapped with just his tail sticking out.

I held him down with both hands and shouted for my husband to come and grab the mouse. It took him ages but he eventually arrived , and made an unsuccessful grab for mousey, who shot off somewhere. We spent quite a few minutes looking under, behind, inside things, he'd just disappeared into thin air.

I had done a talk the night before and all the bags and boxes were in the hall so I assumed he had run in there.

H decided to make a cup of coffee, he filled the kettle, walked to the fridge, back to the kettle then next minute he was bending down squeezing his trouser leg like you squeeze a tube of ointment but instead of ointment it was a mouse, coming head first from the bottom of his trousers.

We couldn't catch it this time because we couldn't stop laughing.

Its under the kitchen units...somewhere.

Jools has lost interest.

I haven't.

Sometimes I'm ashamed of this blog. Other people write about deep things..philosophies, religion, family history, illness. Mine's just rodents and molluscs.

(By the way, does everyone know how to do machine embroidery? Would a post on tips and hints be of any use to anyone?)

23 comments:

jeanette mistress of longears said...

I would have commented an hour ago when I finished reading your post....but I had to stop laughing first!
Your slug story reminds me of the 2 years we lived in army housing in Georgia. The cockroaches were so big, you could HEAR them walking across the floor! As for the mouse.....LOL!
I am a HUGE supporter of your slugs and rodents story. Nothing is better for me than a good laugh!
And, yes, I would LOVE to hear your tips for machine embroidery. I don't do any, but some day I might retire and try lots of things. Besides, understanding what you do helps me to appreciate the beautiful results even more!

Cat at ZenCatArt said...

OMG! I can't stop laughing! What great stories! Yes, yes, I know what you mean about philosophy and deep meaning, and all that - every once in a while I get a bit of that writing my blog and then I'm paralyzed for the next 5 blogs trying to make them "special" but really I'm about day to day life and art - and I'm doing my best to make that OK.
But for you - I love you blog - and this one was a real treasure! Keep it up - they are just fine by me!
And yes, machine embroidery tips would be grand.
Big Cyberhug for you!
Cat

Victoria said...

Thank you for the best laugh I have had in a while!
First off, you must have some mighty big slugs in your part of the world to actually hear them moving!
Ee-gads! Attack of the giant slugs!

And the mouse up the pants! Hilarious!
(Of course I would not be so amused had one gone up my pant leg!)

Cat at ZenCatArt said...

And just to help with the slug problem - I bought one of your lovely broches! A birthday present to me!
Cat

arlee said...

Salt and beer, salt and beer!!!!

I must tell my 2 good mouse stories soon. Yours are hilarious too :}

And deep comes when it will, but fun is best and most enjoyable, even at someone else's expense!

ethel and edna's tearoom said...

lmao I'm soooo glad I've got you back. Who needs deep stuff? I'd rather hear about your slugs and snails and little mouse tails. Oh and see more of your fab work of course. :o)
Luckily we don't have a cat flap so we just have to watch our cats crunch meeces up in the garden - usually head first. Yuck!

Chris' Greetings from the Shady Grove said...

I guess I under estimated your slug problem. Maybe you can train Jools to catch the slugs? Or maybe a pet skunk would be helpful? No? I guess you're right. As for deep meaning, I think your perspective on life and blogging is wonderful. I wouldn't change a thing. It would be wonderful to hear some of your machine embroidery techinques and tips. Your work is amazing and I know you have a lot to share.

Linda said...

Oh Jackie, thanks for making me laugh - I needed that!
Catflaps can provide a bit of humour in our lives....my friend keeps hens and they often stick their heads through the catflap and watch her in the kitchen. I once came home late to find 2 frogs bounding around the kitchen; my cat had brought them in through the flap. But best of all was the night I woke to loud purring and padding on my chest - it was a strange cat I'd never seen before who'd just let himself in!

Keep entertaining us Jackie.
Linda x

Linda said...

Forgot to say - I absolutely adore the embroidered space invaders! You are so talented.
XX

Judex said...

Please don't change a thing about your blog I just love it,reminds me of a poodle with the leg of a frog hanging out of her mouth, how French! Yes please to help with machine embroidery. Judith

banchomarba1 said...

1. I cannot comprehend how you make your sewing machine do what it does, so do please show me how so I can admire your work more.

2. You may have read about my recent snake adventure in my blog. If not, you might enjoy the story. Check in the Spring entries.

3. I promise to blog about both slug and fruit rat adventures soon. Also about a turtle incident. Living in Florida is like lving in the Discovery channel.

sesga loves 1950s said...

You have me LOL!!!
Hysterical!!
Im sure, your still trying to find the mouse ,you have you special mouse detecting ears on, that's how you heard the slug.
Thank you so much for making me LOL!!
Love from sesga xx

silverpebble said...

Great stories. My dad once had bees up his trouser leg and I'be heard of ferrets lurking up there in northern parts but never a mouse. That slug must have some serious teeth to have been audible munching the foam!

Heather said...

How funny! I write about weird stuff on my blog too - 27 year old pickles of all things, so don't worry about the slug and mouse post - it was very enjoyable. And yes, I would love your tips on machine embroidery. I've done some free-motion stuff, but nothing else.

Hens teeth said...

Jackie ~ you are an absolute scream.
I feel like you too, when I whitter on about Top Shop and today's best buy!!! ~ I think perhaps it should be more deep and meaningful ~ but that's not me!
I really enjoyed this post and laughed out loud. The space invaders are gorg and I particularly love the blue and mocha combo :-)

Genie said...

Thanks for cheering me up. Love the space invaders. and thanks for your kind thoughts, Jean

Gina said...

Forget the deep and mmeaningful stuff... I haven't laughed so much in ages! Your machine embroidery is beautiful.

Robyn said...

What a scream! A mouse up my trouser leg definitely wouldn't go down well...but I'm having a damned good laugh at your experience.

tumbleweed said...

I can empathize with your rodent and wriggler stories....my son woke up from a snooze on the sofa recently, convinced the cat had dragged a banana from the compost bucket and wondering why (in the gloom) the cat was refusing to part with it. gruesome post-dawn finds revealed that brave Zachariah had in fact been wrestling a rat (and emerged victorious). Moral: if you see a banana running around the room, hide under the covers.

herhimnbryn said...

Oh how I laughed ( said she who hase Possums in the roof playing football as I type!).

I do like visiting your blog, I do indeed.

I would enjoy a tute on machine embroidery.

Erica said...

I just came from flickr expecting to read more about your lovely textiles and am so glad I came, thanks for the best laugh, rather a mouse than a ferret!

Wabbit said...

Jackie, I love your blog the way it is. It's so fun and personable. I think the slug stories are too funny. I'm sorry for laughing at how they plague you. I'd love to read your tips for machine embroidery. Goodness knows, I can use all the tips I can get! Marilyn

Daisie said...

Thanks for the slug story, made me smile in a really uncomfortable kinda way! We too have slugs (think everyone does) but I have never seen them or heard them, just see the silvery trails that are there in the morning.
Daisie xxx



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